|Posted by [email protected] on June 28, 2018 at 11:15 AM||comments (0)|
This is why we care...
Get the help you need, your health is key.
Late, but I've really not been well recently. :'( Can't really get into the details, but I had a major personal crisis, promptly took most of the rest of my GABAergic stash (including tons of flutoprazepam--potent, amnesic, nasty little benzo, and four other GABAgenics), went on a major binge over several days, which involved blackouts (ofc) and barely being able to walk or speak at certain points (or so I'm told).
The ramifications of that triggered another, more serious crisis and now I feel just wrecked, back to square one mental health-wise and lacking anything but my scripts, with which I'm trying not to raise my tolerance too much. (If Lyrica stops working for me, I'm truly fucked.) Basically, some ugly family stuff came out in the wash and my sibling despises me now. I'm pretty sure just seeing me that intoxicated during the binge triggered his trauma issues and set it all off. The cherry on top was the stereotypical emotional email sent to my ex, which prompted a soul-destroying reply. In the last week, I've been called and accused of some of the most horrible things you could imagine by two of the people I was closest to in my life.
Not to get too personal, but I made a serious suicide attempt this week. Very alone in the world right now and my stash is dry. Back to using kratom (ick) for electro pain as I lost my DHC source a while ago and won't have a shot at access to opioids until at least January, and I might just be done w/electro by then anyway. :-/
Though I did order some Soma from a vendor who seems to be legit based on reviews, but it's my first time so who knows. I really hope it comes through and gets here soon. Sorry to be such a drama queen, but I'm in a super dark place where just about any pharms would go down especially well right now. Vacillating in between using the last of my funds (bitcoin shot up, that was nice) to re-up my stash or just get some phenobarbital for when I'm ready to end it all Margaux Hemingway style.
|Posted by [email protected] on June 17, 2018 at 12:20 AM||comments (0)|
'We're treated like drug addicts': As America fights opioid addiction, the healthcare system is failing people who live with chronic pain
Where is the system problematic or broken??
Let that sink in.
|Posted by [email protected] on June 13, 2018 at 10:00 AM||comments (0)|
Good hip hop songs about drug addiction?
Anyone know any good (preferably conscious / backpack and not mainstream) hip hop songs about drug addiction? Some good songs that I know are:
Colicche - Drug Addiction
Haystak - My First Day
Macklemore - Otherside & Starting Over
NF - How Could you Leave Us?
Danegurous - Ease Your Pain
Sage Francis - Going Back to Rehab
CunninLynguists - Hard As They Come (Act I) ft. Freddie Gibbs
Madchild - Wake Up
Hollohan - My Lost Love & Addiction
Machine Gun Kelly - Lead You On
360 - I’m Sorry
Hopsin - Chris Dolmeth
If anyone knows any other dope songs about addiction, please add to the list!
|Posted by [email protected] on June 9, 2018 at 11:15 AM||comments (0)|
I have been sober now for 2 years, I have relapsed a few times, but haven't in 8 months now. My addiction was to crack cocaine and heroin. I would get high on coke(usually crack since its super easy to find here in Baltimore) and then use heroin to come down from the coke high.
I have been using drugs since I was 16, but the coke/heroin pattern didn't start until I was 20. I am now 27 and realize that I have no life. I go to a methadone clinic where i see a psychiatrist who diagnosed me with Bipolar I disorder, which explains a lot. I know a lot of people look down on methadone but I don't have insurance and this clinic is the cheapest access I have to mental health care. I wish i could see the doc more often but every 8 weeks is all i get.
The problem I have is that without drugs I am a loser. Before I started using I was "the weird home schooled kid" in my high school so I was forced to be sort of a loner. The only reason I was in public school was because my mom couldn't home school me anymore with her Oxycontin addiction. As soon as I was out in the world I started drinking and doing pills as well as find full time employment. Once I graduated high school I went from being a mechanics helper to an ASE certified master Tech AND I went to Community college and got my AA degree in applied science. The original goal was to go to Penn Tech to be a mechanical engineer, but the tuition costs were to steep for me.
Anyway, even after i became dependent on heroin/cocaine my life was still full. I was always gainfully employed, and I had hobbies like hiking and dirt bike racing, scuba diving, things like that, I also had meaningful relationships with people. Now that I am sober, the person I am is barely capable of holding down a job, I have no enthusiasm for hobbies and I possess the charisma of a door knob.
The question I have is: Is this who I have always been? Is this just my brain re acclimating? Am I damaged and no longer capable of being a normal person? I feel damaged beyond a reparable point. I am on medication for the Bipolar thing, but this is much deeper than that. This cuts to my core, life now seems meaningless, doing "fun" things is now a chore.
|Posted by [email protected] on June 8, 2018 at 11:40 AM||comments (0)|
I'm honestly not to sure anymore. Growing up, I moved about 30 times because of my family's addiction issues and I've never really been able to make any other life long connections with people. I mean, I have friends but I always had to be before I was able to find the one best friend. So I guess part of it has to do with the fact that it's familiar and also the loss of my brother. He was my best friend and he passed away suddenly at the age of 27. After losing him, my family's addictions got a lot worse. I stick around because I'm afraid of bury them. I'm afraid to be the only one left.
You don't have to live this way, the help is available 24/7. Break the chains and live free.
|Posted by [email protected] on June 8, 2018 at 9:20 AM||comments (0)|
It’s Time Recovery Services is living proof that drug and alcohol treatment works. Our staff is the witness of true sober freedom! The Founder believes, “If positive opportunities of change are created for those seeking change, change will happen.” Thousands of people who have gone through a treatment episode can give testimony that treatment for alcohol and drugs work if you work it.
It’s Time Recovery Services takes the time to get to know you or your loved ones needs, and will not stop fighting with you. We will organize with you or your loved one a plan to get to a treatment center personally. We do not refer anyone to a treatment center that we are not personally involved in.
“This is a mission in our lives, we have been there and want to help you get better.” -AO-
|Posted by [email protected] on May 29, 2018 at 12:00 AM||comments (0)|
Offer hope through your experiences and struggles. It takes courage to step in the right direction, especially when you don't know if it is the right direction.
You might feel trapped, but it doesn't have to be The chains that keep you bound can be removed and you can be freed from the bondage of addiction.
Step in faith and call the staff soon to be your freinds at It's Time Recovery Services.
You deserve to be free.