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Why we care..

Posted by rbginc@hotmail.com on June 28, 2018 at 11:15 AM

This is why we care...

                                      Get the help you need, your health is key.


Late, but I've really not been well recently. :'( Can't really get into the details, but I had a major personal crisis, promptly took most of the rest of my GABAergic stash (including tons of flutoprazepam--potent, amnesic, nasty little benzo, and four other GABAgenics), went on a major binge over several days, which involved blackouts (ofc) and barely being able to walk or speak at certain points (or so I'm told).


The ramifications of that triggered another, more serious crisis and now I feel just wrecked, back to square one mental health-wise and lacking anything but my scripts, with which I'm trying not to raise my tolerance too much. (If Lyrica stops working for me, I'm truly fucked.) Basically, some ugly family stuff came out in the wash and my sibling despises me now. I'm pretty sure just seeing me that intoxicated during the binge triggered his trauma issues and set it all off. The cherry on top was the stereotypical emotional email sent to my ex, which prompted a soul-destroying reply. In the last week, I've been called and accused of some of the most horrible things you could imagine by two of the people I was closest to in my life.

 

Not to get too personal, but I made a serious suicide attempt this week. Very alone in the world right now and my stash is dry. Back to using kratom (ick) for electro pain as I lost my DHC source a while ago and won't have a shot at access to opioids until at least January, and I might just be done w/electro by then anyway. :-/

 

Though I did order some Soma from a vendor who seems to be legit based on reviews, but it's my first time so who knows. I really hope it comes through and gets here soon. Sorry to be such a drama queen, but I'm in a super dark place where just about any pharms would go down especially well right now. Vacillating in between using the last of my funds (bitcoin shot up, that was nice) to re-up my stash or just get some phenobarbital for when I'm ready to end it all Margaux Hemingway style.


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